Step 4: Shining Light in the Shadows Preached on September 29th, 2019 At Wollaston Congregational Church Scripture: Luke 16:19-31 Step 4: [That we have] Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This is the 4th step in our 12 step sermon series. And today, it’s beginning to get real, and perhaps a little uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but this step feels intimidating to me. I don’t feel particularly “fearless” about making a searching moral inventory. This sounds suspiciously like making a list of all my sins, past and present. Richard Rohr observes that “those raised with a strict religious upbringing will usually recoil at this step.” They are tired of judging themselves to be found wanting. In fact, many are driven back to their addiction to “quiet the constant inner critic.” This might be the voice of a “demanding parent, rigid culture, or finger-waving church.” These voices echo long after the parent has died, or the individual has left culture or church behind. And so confession and addiction may become a vicious cycle. [1] However, Rohr does not see Step 4 as a way to find out how good or bad we are compared with other people. Instead he sees it as a way of illumination: and so this chapter is titled “A Good Lamp.” Rohr invites us all to begin some “shadow boxing.” He is talking about what psychologist Carl Jung called the parts of ourselves that we deny or hide, “the shadow-self.” Confession involves bringing a light to those hidden places, the shadows. As Rohr writes, Jung certainly did not lead a perfect life, but his mistakes led him to “recognize and heal the shadow self that lurks in our personal unconscious and is then projected outward onto others. Rohr says “The face we turn toward our own unconscious is the face we turn toward the world.” That is “People who accept themselves accept others. People who hate themselves hate others. Only Divine Light gives us permission, freedom, and courage to go all the way down into our depths and meet our shadow.” [2] Our gospel reading for this week tells of a time when Jesus shone a light onto certain shadows many of us prefer to ignore. Each week this season, before we hear our gospel reading we sing “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet.” In singing this refrain we are summoning the courage to ask God to shine a light not only on the gospel word, but also on our own shadow-selves. The story we hard today is spoken to the Pharisees and scribes yet again. In Luke’s gospel these groups represent the rigid religious, the finger-wavers, who think they are righteous. Jesus tells the story of a rich man. He is obscenely wealthy, he feasts daily, and dresses in the clothing of royalty. Meanwhile there is a poor man, named Lazarus, who sits at the rich man’s gate. Lazarus’s poverty is as extreme as the other man’s wealth. He is covered in sores from inadequate nutrition, lack of sanitation, and sleeping rough. It would be quite simple for the rich man to help Lazarus. He would not even miss the resources it would take to give him a meal, or provide him with a simple dwelling. The problem is that the rich man does not even see Lazarus. He is safely protected inside his gate, free from the uncomfortable sight of the dogs licking Lazarus’s sores. The story goes on. Both men die. Lazarus goes to be with Father Abraham in a kind of heaven. And the rich man descends to Hades, a fire-y hell. By means of some special portal to heaven the man can see Abraham with Lazarus at his side. The rich man is so accustomed to having people like Lazarus at his service he doesn’t understand the seriousness of his situation. And so he implores Abraham to “send Lazarus” with a drop of water to cool his lips. Abraham reminds him that the poor man is no longer conveniently at his gate. Now there is a huge chasm between them and there is no way Lazarus can cross over. Still the man doesn’t get it. Perhaps Lazarus could be sent to warn his five equally wealthy brothers about the torment to come. And again, Abraham tells him that since they haven’t listened to the teachings of the prophets they will not listen to anyone else. It is too late. This is certainly not a comfortable tale for the obscenely wealthy who ignore the poor. We here are not obscenely wealthy. But this is still a tale for us, to stir us when we begin to feel comfortable. If we are truthful, often times we live in an uneasy kind of comfort with situations like this. There are times when I see a person who is in need and I reason “oh well, I can’t help everyone”, and then forget to actually reach out to someone. Or there are times when we justify the gates and barriers we make as “security” so that we can forget about the poor for a while. There are times when we decide not to do a ministry here at the church because “the neighbors would object.” Or there are times when we decide that last time we gave to the poor, they were scamming us. The story sheds light on the poor man, even giving him a name: Lazarus. It also sheds light on our fears, our insecurities, our justifications. It sheds light on our shadows. This story reminds us that ongoing shadow boxing is necessary. We don’t just go to the gym one time to become physically fit. In the same way we don’t just examine ourselves once to become spiritually conscious. The daily Examen is one way of doing this shadow boxing. We tried it today during our prayers of confession. Another way might be to belong to a group like Alcoholics Anonymous, in which others are willing to hear our confession. Sometimes we need the light of others’ eyes on our shadows. And this requires us to be willing to give and receive feedback. I admit I do not always relish feedback. For much of my life I have been painfully aware of my shortcomings. I’m sensitive when I make a mistake, scolding myself for not thinking of every outcome. This painful awareness sometimes meant that I was unwilling to look back on events reflectively, instead I feel shamed by mistakes. I prefer to bury those memories in the shadows. While I was in seminary, I was required to do a training program called “Clinical Pastoral Education” or CPE. I took my CPE in a long-term care facility for the elderly in the Boston area. This program combined providing spiritual care for residents of the facility with a process of self-examination, one or one with my supervisor, and also in a group setting. I made learning goals for the program, and one of these was: “decreasing my fear of getting things wrong, of saying or doing the wrong thing” and “decreasing my anxiety of being supervised in my work.” During the course of my time at the care facility my heart was broken open many times by the patients that I visited. Most had some form of dementia, and also other challenges, such as hearing loss, macular degeneration, and lack of mobility. I was moved by their physical, mental and spiritual challenges. I realized that to serve these dear people I needed to learn and grow. Each week I wrote self-reflections, examining each resident interaction in detail. I worked with my supervisor to imagine how I might grow in my work. I invited critique from my fellow students, who guided me gently and lovingly. And at the end of the program I was better able to provide spiritual care. I had grown in my practice of self-reflection and receiving feedback from others. At times it was uncomfortable, but I look back on that time as a true blessing for myself and my relationships with others. Each week, so far, we have applied the step we are working on to three things: our culture, our church, and our own lives. And so today, may we summon the courage to imagine doing a searching moral inventory … in our culture, in our church, and in our own lives. I wonder what it would look like, if we took a searching and fearless moral inventory as a culture. In this young nation founded on high ideals, we are so intent on patriotism and loyalty, it is hard to imagine. What would it mean to admit that, like all others, our nation is not perfect? What would it mean for the United States to do a searching and fearless moral inventory concerning issues like slavery and the genocide of the Native American population? And how about in the Church? The “church growth consultants” encourage us to present a shiny image. We say “all are welcome” in our loving family-sized congregation. What would it mean to invite those who have been hurt by church in the past to come in and sit with us in this 12 step process. Together we could remember that we have spiritual growth to do, as well as numerical growth, as we examine both our shadows and our triumphs. And, most of all, in our own lives: Let’s remember, our goal is not to be perfect. It is to see ourselves as we are, illuminated by the Divine Light. Rohr points to the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Roman Christians: “the law was given to multiply the opportunities of falling!” to which he adds “so that grace can even be greater” (Romans 5:20–21) That is to say “God actually relishes the vacuum, which God knows God alone can fill.” [3] May all God’s people say, Amen [1] Rohr, Richard. Breathing Under Water : Spirituality and the Twelve Steps (p. 30). Franciscan Media. Kindle Edition. [2] https://cac.org/becoming-who-you-are-2019-09-09/ [3] Rohr, Richard. Breathing Under Water : Spirituality and the Twelve Steps (p. 31). Franciscan Media. Kindle Edition.
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