Holy Communication Preached on May 20th, 2018 at Wollaston Congregational Church Scripture: Acts 2:1-21 A friend once told me that she believed that all problems between people were caused by a failure of communication. At the time I thought she had it wrong. How could all the broken relationships, violence, even wars in the world, be resolved by simple, effective communication? But as I have considered this idea over time I have begun to think she might be onto something. Communication comes down to understanding. It involves listening to another with empathy. It involves sharing our deepest truths in a way that can be heard by the other. This kind of communication requires vulnerability. If we are to be the first to reveal those needs and feelings that we often keep tucked away inside, we will need the courage to be vulnerable. It isn’t easy, but it is what sets the stage for what I’m calling Holy Communication today. In our story from the book of Acts, we hear of the disciples and followers of Jesus being all together in a house in Jerusalem. Suddenly a violent wind rushes through that house and tongues of fire rest on each of them. This is a dramatic scene and there are many spectators, we can assume that the disturbance spills out into the streets. It is a holiday – Shavuot – which takes place fifty days after Passover. This is a harvest festival and the anniversary of the giving of the law to the Jewish people. Many Jews, from all around the known world are gathered in the city. When Peter and the other eleven begin to speak, they realize that this visit of the Spirit of God has come with a special gift. The disciples: these uneducated working men of Galilee, are able to be understood by all those gathered around. The visitors to Jerusalem do not need to rely on their broken Hebrew or Aramaic. They can understand, quite clearly, as though they were hearing in their own native languages. Peter, the spokesperson for the group, takes this opportunity to interpret what has happened in the light of scripture. He remembers that the prophet Joel had prophesied that in the last days, God would pour out God’s spirit on all flesh; on people who do not usually understand one another; on people who, in their culture, are usually divided and kept on the lower rungs of the social structure. The Spirit will be poured out on old men, male and female slaves, young men and women. All are considered equal, in this outpouring of the Spirit; this great gift of understanding and communication. Now, let me be the first to admit that mastery of languages that are foreign to me has not been my strength in life. When I entered secondary school in England I began to study French. In my first year I learned the names for colors, fruits, vegetables, and various objects as well as some regular and irregular verbs. I did so well that I was assigned to a Latin class, in addition, for my second year. It was downhill from there. The more extensive vocabularies, particularities of grammar and various verb tenses overwhelmed me. I never gained more than a basic understanding. Years later when I applied to seminary, I checked – would I be able to graduate with a Master of Divinity without taking classes in Hebrew or Greek – and I was let off the hook. I am convinced that only the miracle of the first Pentecost would enable me to speak other languages any better than an uneducated Galilean. However, when I began studying for my divinity degree I was required to choose a “Core Competency” for my studies. I chose “Communicating.” I still see communicating as being perhaps the most important aspect of my ministry here with you. I don’t just mean my communication to you, through sermons and other teachings. I mean our communication with one another: our mutual discovery of what it means to communicate with empathy and understanding; our modeling of that kind of communication for the community around us. And, in the end, the miracle of understanding in different tongues at that first Pentecost, is a message about what communication can be when we are aware of the Holy Spirit in our midst. This is what Holy Communication is like. It is a tragic irony that there has been so little Holy Communication between peoples at the site of the first Pentecost – Jerusalem and Palestine - over the centuries. Most recently, communications between Palestinians and Israelis broke down completely. To quote a news story from National Public Radio just this week: “In Jerusalem on Monday, hundreds of American and Israeli dignitaries gathered around a specially built stage at the newly designated embassy, while diplomats from most of the world stayed away. In Gaza, thousands of Palestinians approached — and in some places, stormed — the border fences that surround their small territory, and Israeli troops opened fire. Gaza health authorities said at least 60 Palestinians were killed and more than 1,300 suffered gunshot wounds.” [1] And, of course, at home here in the United States, different sides of the politic divide are failing to communicate and reach agreement. In these times, one of the most urgent matters for our leaders is to put an end to gun violence in schools. I am convinced that this is something within their reach, if only leaders would practice active listening and speaking deep truths with one another. While politic posturing continues, Holy Communication is lost. And then in family life, many couples divorce because they have not learned to communicate their feelings and needs, and they have not learned to listen to one another. With so many difficulties in communication in our times, we may wish that we could get back to that first Pentecost, and recapture the gift of the Holy Spirit. We can be assured, though, that the event of Pentecost was a mark of the gift of the Holy Spirit. The God’s Spirit has not gone away. We are promised that she is with us for all time. God’s Spirit is with us, and it is possible to rediscover the gift of Holy Communication. Marshall B. Rosenberg, author of the book “Nonviolent Communication”, was a specialist in effective communication and designed training programs to help teach conflict resolution. [2] Rosenberg’s style involves exchanging words in ways that exclude judgments, blame and violence. Participants are encouraged to listen for the other’s needs and feelings in times of conflict and to use empathy to diffuse danger. In his work as a non-violent communicator, Rosenberg facilitated communications between rival street gangs, couples on the verge of divorce, parents and children, as well as initiating peace programs in worn-torn areas such as the Middle East, Northern Ireland, Rwanda, Serbia and Croatia. [3] In his writing, Rosenberg talks of facilitating communications with a street gang in Cleveland. At first the gang members were dismissive of his attempts to talk with them, and ridiculed him when he said his feelings were hurt by their reaction. But then Rosenberg switched his approach to listening for the needs and feelings beneath the gang members’ bravado. When he empathized with their frustration at being sent a teacher who did not understand the dangers of their neighborhood, they began to open up. Most of his communication with them was to reflect the feelings and the needs he heard in what they said. During the chaplaincy part of my training for ministry, my teachers reminded me that the behaviors and reactions of others have nothing to do with me. This summarized by the mantra “it’s not about you.” I had some trouble internalizing the idea, though, especially when someone directed anger toward me. I would revert to a defensive posture, and assume that I was the object the anger. Sadly, though, I discovered the truth of this saying “it’s not about you” on the “Aging in Place” unit where I as working. I was being introduced to the residents of the facility at a tea party and I chose to sit next to a woman who was alone. She immediately turned to me, looking anxious and upset and chided “get away from me!” Some of the other residents tried to sympathize with me, telling me that the woman was mean. Yet I knew that this woman I had never met before was not being mean. Her response was not a reaction to me and my attempt to befriend her. It was all about her and her anxiety. My supervisor reflected later, perhaps what she wanted to say was “come closer to me, I’m lonely.” I will never know exactly what was going on in her troubled mind, but I will remember to listen for what is underneath the reaction. Practicing Holy Communication in our daily lives, by making room for God’s Spirit, takes courage. We need to become vulnerable enough to share our needs and feelings. We need to listen empathetically to the other’s words, reflecting back what is beneath those words. It may seem unfair that we are expected to do the work for others. In the case of nonviolent communication, it is ideal for both parties involved in a conflict to practice together. But, one-sided nonviolent communication is also effective, and may even keep us safe in situations where we need to diffuse danger. And so, why don’t we commit to practicing Holy Communication, between one another here in our church as well as in our families, our work places, our schools and our neighborhoods? Our personal relationships will surely be enriched. When we listen, but also express our needs and desires, our working relationships will be more whole. And we may well provide a model for Holy Communication among the people we meet each day. Today we celebrate the gift of God’s Holy Spirit to all the people of the Earth. And so may we live into the Spirit’s birthday gift of Holy Communication. May all God’s Spirit filled people say, Amen [1]https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2018/05/18/611940486/deep-contradictions-remain-at-the-core-of-the-israeli-palestinian-conflict [2]Marshall B. Rosenberg, “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rdEdition: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships”, (Puddle Dancer Press, Encinitas CA ,2015) [3]http://www.jerusalem-academy.org/marshall-b-rosenberg.html
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