Listen First Preached for Wollaston Congregational Church On Sunday February 21st, 2021 Scripture: Mark 1:9-15 This week we enter the season of Lent, and we revisit – yet again – the first chapter of the gospel of Mark. If you thought that today’s reading sounded familiar, you are right. We have already heard the story of Jesus being baptized by John, and then being driven into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit. This time we focus on the second part of the reading, the 40 days and nights that Jesus spends in the wilderness. Only, Mark tells us next to nothing about that time. He doesn’t tell us how Satan tempted Jesus. He doesn’t tell us how Jesus resisted temptation. All Mark says is that “[Jesus] was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with wild beasts and the angels waited upon him.” We have to look closely at this brief verse and its context in the larger story, to understand the meaning of the time in the wilderness for Jesus and his ministry. And, according to Mark, the time in the wilderness is the last experience Jesus has, before beginning his ministry. The 40 days Jesus spends in the wilderness are significant and symbolic. They reflect the 40 years the Israelites spent in the wilderness before they came to the promised land. Or the 40 days of the flood, during which Noah and his family and the animals sheltered on the ark. We can imagine that the period of time in the wilderness is not necessarily literally 40 days long, but a symbol of a time of trial. Perhaps it is a metaphor for the time Jesus spent during his early life, listening to God, and wrestling with his own resistance to the call to his ministry. Anyone who has ever experienced any kind of calling will relate. Perhaps you are being called to a new vocation or career, to a new level of spiritual devotion and commitment, or perhaps you are being called to have a difficult conversation with someone close to you. If you are feeling a calling, it’s probable that you are also feeling resistance. There is the call of God, and there is the resistance within ourselves that might be attributed to Satan. According to Mark, at the end of Jesus’s wilderness experience he emerges and is ready. He has worked through any resistance. He begins ministry, with the gifts and attributes he will use as he travels the countryside. One important attribute we will consider today is that Jesus listens. Jesus listens to God, Jesus listens to the people that he heals and teaches. Throughout the gospel we see Jesus take time away from the crowd to pray and listen to God. And we notice his perception when encountering people along the road. We notice his attention to those who are ignored by others. Over the Lenten season that began on Wednesday, we will be considering the “Mr Roger’s Effect” and the “7 secrets to bringing out the best in yourself and others.” Anita Kuhnley, the author of the book “The Mr Roger’s Effect”, looks at seven secrets that children’s TV presenter, Fred Rogers, used to communicate with children and adults. Today we begin with the first secret, “List First: Listen with more than your ears.” [1] As a young man, Fred Rogers attended the Pittsburgh Theological seminary and was ordained by the Presbytery of the United Presbyterian Church. But Rogers did not pursue a typical ministerial career. Instead, he created a children’s TV show for WQED, Pittsburgh. Rogers was concerned about the kind of programming being directed at children, in the 1950’s and 60’s. He was disappointed by shows that were full of pranks and gags, like throwing a pie in someone’s face. He realized there was a need for something more substantive to meet children’s needs. And so the Presbyterian church gave Rogers the leeway to create his TV show as a ministry, and that is what he did for his entire career. Rogers had been bullied as a child. He was overweight and suffered from asthma. One day he had been chased by bullies, and only just made it to a safe house in time to avoid being beaten up. Rogers also spent a good deal of time sick in bed. He had created imaginative play within the limitations of his surroundings. He also loved to pour out his feelings by playing the piano. Perhaps the period of bullying, the time alone in bed and with the piano was Mr. Rogers’ wilderness time. He came out on the other side, contradicting the saying that “the bullied becomes the bully.” Rogers became a listener, even though he communicated with his audience through television. He listened to understand, bringing children onto his show and listening to them with patience, kindness and respect. Rogers practiced listening to people who are often ignored. Children are among those ignored people. As we’ve noted, Jesus also practiced listening to people who were otherwise ignored. In one very poignant example, Jesus encounters a woman, who is practically invisible to those around her. She is hidden in the great crowd pressing in on Jesus. But she touches the hem of his cloak and in that moment he feels the power of healing go out from him. (Mark 5:25-34) This woman had been hemorrhaging for 12 years. We learn she has endured a great deal at the hands of physicians. And we may wonder if she endured because the physicians never really listened to her. But, now she tells her story to Jesus and he listens. Then he declares that her faith has made her well, she goes away healed. The example of the woman with the hemorrhage plays out even today, in medical settings. It is notable that when black women go to the hospital or to the doctor in pain, they are not taken seriously, they are not listened to. An implicit racial bias in healthcare is beginning to surface as many black women tell their stories. Often pregnant black women who are in pain are ignored, and in some cases this results in the losses of the pregnancy or even the mother’s life. In circumstances like these, a lack of listening costs lives. Besides people of color, especially women, the elderly often have difficulty being heard in healthcare settings. Over the summer, I took on the responsibility of calling residents of an elder housing location in Boston, to offer support during this time of isolation. One of the residents I most enjoyed speaking with was a woman who had a career history in healthcare. She told me that in healthcare interactions, elderly people need to be listened to most of all. They need the time to tell their stories. It takes a while to get to the heart of what is going on. Physicians, who are under severe time constraints, they often do not take the time to listen. And so this woman has volunteered to train medical students. She was assigned a student that she would talk with on the phone, over a period of months, helping them understand the importance of taking the time to listen. The student would learn, simply by listening to her and learning from her experiences. And, of course, the aspect she didn’t mention: she was being heard by being a part of this program. In the book “The Mr Rogers Effect”, author Anita Kuhnley makes that point that being heard and being listened to are essential for a person’s emotional, mental and spiritual health. Kuhnley says “we can listen to ourselves better as we are listened to and heard by others.” [2] She equates being listened to with being loved, and listening with loving. Probably we can all recall times, as children, when we were not listened to. Growing up, I wanted to be heard more often than my parents had the time to listen. But I was incredibly blessed to have four doting grandparents who all listened in their different ways. My grandfather was the greatest listener of all: he’d listen to me in his workshop, he listen to me on the long, long walks we took together. And after he’d listened, he’d pause. The reply would always begin, “well, love …” and then he’d slowly impart words of encouragement. What a gift it is to be listened to. In our culture today, we are bombarded with noises and sounds that demand our attention. Kuhnley says that on average we spend 45 percent of our time listening. [3] But this is not active listening, it is passive listening to things we would sometimes rather not hear. Students are expected to spend most of their time listening to teachers and instructors. And meanwhile, other outlets call out to us to listen: news programs, social media, phone calls and texts. In many ways we learn to tune out rather than listen. Because of all the noise we are exposed to, we need to relearn the art of listening. Those of you who participated in some of the group discussions we have had at Wollaston Congregational Church may remember the guidelines I have on “active listening.” These guidelines reflect Fred Rogers’ approach to listening to children. So often in conversation we are busy preparing our reply while the other person is speaking. In active listening, we are reminded to listen to understand rather than to reply. In active listening there will be a pause while the listener considers their reply after listening to the speaker. In active listening, interruptions are avoided. Clarifying questions are saved until the speaker is finished. Like Fred Rogers, if we can we make eye contact. If the person with whom we are speaking is at a different level, because they are small or because they are sitting, we sit or crouch to get on the same level. We express interest in their story, and reflect back what we understand they have said. Listening means letting go of fixing problems, it means refraining from giving unsolicited advice. And so, I wonder, how carefully have we listened, recently, to the people we love most? And, how much do we listen to those who are listened to least in our culture? How often do we pause to listen to God, and to our own deep inner wisdom? And most important of all: Who listened to you and who listens to you? And who is longing to be listened to by you? Amen. [1] Kuhnley, Anita Knight . The Mister Rogers Effect (p. 39). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition [2] Ibid., 46 [3] Ibid., 48
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